With Maya turning two next week, I realized that it was finally time for me to talk about what I learned from my preeclampsia experience because I want to help others going through it if I can. I also didn’t realize until just now that May is preeclampsia awareness month, so my timing looks intentional.

UPDATE: I’ve now also been through pre-eclampsia for the second time with my son being born at 36 weeks. Part of the reason I needed to write this post was because I was facing a second diagnosis and realized I hadn’t really dealt with the feelings from first time. And while this post is definitely not medical advice, its intended to help you with the emotions you may feel in this scary time.

Being diagnosed with preeclampsia can be scary, but I'm sharing all the things I wish I knew back then to make it a little easier.

I am guessing you’re here for one of two reasons: you’ve been diagnosed with preeclampsia or you’re a regular reader at Mabey She Made It. If you’ve just been diagnosed, take a deep breath and know you’re not alone. It took me quite a while to understand what was going on with my body and just how much care went into getting me and Maya through it safely.

My hope here is to share a lot of the things I’ve learned since my diagnosis that have helped me and will hopefully help you as well. Other than a brief definition of preeclampsia, the rest is my experience and understanding.

A lot of what you find online is either medical definitions/symptoms or actual birth stories that can scare the daylights out of you–but what I needed two years ago was someone who understood and could talk to me person to person. And while I’m not physically with you, I hope this post can provide you with some peace and some (non-medical) advice that helps you in this tough time.

What Is Preeclampsia

So let’s start by defining preeclampsia (because that was the first thing I had to look up when I was diagnosed–I didn’t really even know what it was). The Preeclampsia Foundation defines preeclampsia as:

“a disorder that occurs only during pregnancy and the postpartum period and affects both the mother and the unborn baby. Affecting at least 5-8% of all pregnancies, it is a rapidly progressive condition characterized by high blood pressure and the presence of protein in the urine. Swelling, sudden weight gain, headaches and changes in vision are important symptoms; however, some women with rapidly advancing disease report few symptoms.”

So what does that mean? Basically, doctors think your body’s immune system starts fighting with your placenta which causes the symptoms above. (I know, I didn’t get that from the definition either–that was my doctor’s interpretation for me.)

While preeclampsia is not all that common, it is serious. Most cases are not severe and happen at the end of your pregnancy when your baby is already full term so early delivery is an easy solution. Really, delivery is the only solution regardless of when you are diagnosed. I happened to have a less-common severe case that developed at 32 weeks and my daughter was born one week later.

What I Wish I Knew About Preeclampsia

While every case is different and each medical plan is individualized, I wanted to share some things that I learned and researched to help you through your preeclampsia experience. And don’t worry–there are no horror stories here.

Being diagnosed with preeclampsia can be scary, but I'm sharing all the things I wish I knew back then to make it a little easier.

Don’t read too much

Preeclampsia a scary thing, and reading too many birth stories or medical websites won’t help. What will help is trusting your body, your intuition, and a good health team. Read what your doctor gives you or recommends and listen to your medical staff. I felt absolutely fine, but I really wasn’t and I know now that trusting them helped us have a happy ending. And if you get pregnant again in the future, trust your instincts–they’ll help you immensely.

Your level of stress cannot and will not give you preeclampsia

During my last pregnancy I was under a lot of stress with a major home renovation, a 2 and 3 year old at home, and posting here 4-6 times a week. After our birth and NICU experience I started to wonder if I had contributed to the situation because of these things. I’ve now asked three different OBs in person (including a high-risk doctor) and read lots of preeclampsia sites, and the firm answer is NO. Low stress is a good thing, but if you’re wondering whether you are to blame for your preeclampsia–you’re not. Tell yourself that over and over until you believe it.

There’s really nothing you can/should do to prevent preeclampsia

Obviously normal health recommendations like eating healthy and getting exercise are always beneficial, but there’s no special diet or amount of exercise that will prevent it. Even your doctor doesn’t understand why it happens exactly, so don’t wonder if a few missed prenatal vitamins, occasional fry cravings, or not getting a daily walk in could have made a difference–this is not your fault.

Doctors weigh the consequences of both mother and baby in your care

I didn’t realize at the time that my care was a balancing act, but it makes sense. They have two patients–you and baby–to consider in every decision. Since Maya was 32 weeks when I was hospitalized they immediately started me on steroids to help mature her lungs in case she had to be born early. Once she had the steroids, the focus of my care went to reducing my blood pressure and keeping her inside as long as possible. When the risk of seizure or stroke for me became more than the risk of her being born prematurely, doctors decided to deliver her. I tell you this only so you understand the basics of why your doctor might be making certain decisions in your care. They’re doing what’s best for both of you the best they can.

Let go of your birth plan

Once you develop preeclampsia, safety for you and baby are all that matter. I’m sure you’ve got a lot to process but the sooner you can let go of the perfect birth scenario you’ve created, the better. If you can be at peace with the care and delivery you end up having you’ll have one less thing to worry about. And while a c-section and NICU stay definitely weren’t things I was planning or hoping for, they allowed us to have a safe delivery and amazing care for our little one (and emotional support for us as parents too!).

Things you'll want to know about preeclampsia when you're diagnosed

Maya on her first full day in the NICU. She only had the IV for about a day and the rest are monitors and a feeding tube. We were amazed at how quickly she progressed.

You’re not alone

Regardless of your baby’s gestational age when you are diagnosed, know that there are plenty of other women who have been in your shoes and willingly offer support both online and in person. Get connected and you’ll understand the power of community and the support of those who really know what you’re going through.

Even though pre-eclampsia was a difficult thing to go through, we were blessed with a caring medical staff, amazing support from family and friends, and with a happy ending. If you’re going through this now, please know I’d be happy to talk to you and help any way I can–send me an email or comment below. You can do this!

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Margaret Crawford
Margaret Crawford
6 years ago

Preeclampsia is a dangerous and scary condition. I watched my daughter go through 3 pregnancies with it each time. All are healthy and thriving now but as a mother and a nurse it was a time I wish on no one.
I am happy you and your baby survived the pregnancy. Some don’t. Enjoy your life now.

Kristie
Kristie
6 years ago

I ended up with post partumn pre-eclampsia. Scary. But I am every so grateful for modern medicine and doctors that took fantastic care of me.

Regina Roza
Regina Roza
6 years ago

Hi Lisa

I read your blog on a regular basis. I just wanted to tell you how impressed I was about your post on preeclampsia. Your information was written from personal experience and I’m sure the ladies reading this post will feel very supported by what you’ve written. Although my childbearing years are passed (I’m 55 and mental-pause is in full swing lol)from what I’ve read, it is fairly common. I think the relationship between Mom and doctor is so important and the communication is tantamount to a healthy pregnancy for Mom & baby!

God Bless you!

Y.K.
Y.K.
6 years ago

If only there was some sort of actual information here about preclamsia vs personal experience. Every time I read one of these “things I wish I knew..” I’m not amused. I get that you’re getting paid for the clicks but make it worth while.

julie
6 years ago

As you point out, lots of cases of pre-eclampsia occur at the end of pregnancy when baby is at or close to term. It would be extra scary to have onset at only 32 weeks.
I’ve never had pre-eclampsia, thankfully, but I’ve had other experiences that make me realize that every single baby is a miracle.
Thanks for sharing your story

Melanie C. Gonsales
Melanie C. Gonsales
6 years ago

When you are pregnant, really it is hard for you to accept the fact that you have fear, especially if you know in the first place about the bad condition of your pregnancy. It is so scary also to have the preeclampsia during your pregnancy. Mommies have different birthing experience and only they can detail it well. In my case, I was in labor for almost 1 week and my baby boy comes out in just 33 weeks, a premature baby. Really, I cannot express my feelings and mostly the happiness when I saw him at the first time. Now,… Read more »

Ashley
Ashley
6 years ago

I’m going through this right now…I’m 33 weeks and 1 day and they are hoping to get me to 34 weeks…I’m in the hospital on bed rest and have been here for about 5 days now…this is all very scary…especially this being my first baby…not having had a shower yet and not being prepared for baby at home! The feelings and emotions you go through you can’t really describe…all I can think about is how long will our nicu stay be…how small will he be…will everything be ok…while I know there wasn’t anything I could have done to prevent it… Read more »

Jeannette
5 years ago

Hi! You have several redonkulously long comments on here regarding POKER and gaming! What the what?! Maybe you are no longer actively blogging? I had preeclampsia and had to be flown out of state for a C-section at 33 weeks, then our other 2 babies came at 37 weeks and preeclampsia was present for those, too. My sister had it with one of her 3 kids. My 2 daughters have both had it. One delivered at 28 weeks and then had a stroke 4 days later. They both did very well, but it was terrifying. You are very kind to… Read more »

Sabrina
Sabrina
4 years ago

Thank you so much for this!! I am currently 32 weeks with our first baby which we have been praying for a very long time to be blessed with. We had to go to a fertility specialist at OHSU to get here. 💜 I’ve been struggling with rising blood pressure since about 21 weeks and this weekend it jumped drastically and the swelling started happening plus mild headaches. Waiting for my 24hr urinalysis to be diagnosed but my doctor is almost certain I am getting preeclampsia. My mother had me at 30 weeks because of preeclampsia and luckily I was… Read more »

Kassandra
Kassandra
4 years ago

I had preeclampsia for my son. I delivered him at 34+5 weeks and he was in the hospital for 3 weeks. How did you get through it afterwards? I know it was out of my hands but I still feel a lot of guilt and have a hard time getting rid of it. Aswell as the preeclampsia I have been diagnosed with PPD. If you have any tips I would love to hear.

Kary
Kary
4 years ago

My baby will be a month old tomorrow. I was diagnosed with preeclampsia at 39 weeks (so not bad) but after I gave birth was when it got really serious… I had a stroke, couple seizures and a pulmonary embolism… my baby was in the nicu for a couple days and once he was ok, I couldn’t even hold him, feed him, nothing… I missed all the firsts bc of how sick I was… it’s been the hardest thing I have ever had to go through… I’m currently on medication and I should be ok in a couple months but… Read more »

Jackie
Jackie
3 years ago

Hi! Just read your story! And I’m 16 weeks with my first baby, and I am at high risk of developing preeclampsia and I’m scared, don’t know what to do and how to take this in…

Ally
Ally
1 year ago

I found this article on my son’s 4 year anniversary from coming home from the NICU. I started having elevated blood pressures around 27 weeks and delivered at 32. I felt fine and didn’t realize how sick I was. Your advice is spot on! Find medical care givers you trust, don’t read too much (I honestly didn’t google preeclampsia until after I came home from giving birth) and know that this is not your fault.
Thanks for sharing your experience!

Michelle C Davis
Michelle C Davis
1 year ago

Hi my name is Michelle Davis and I recently went to the doctor and they diagnosed me with preeclampsia a mild case of it. They said I might have the baby at 36 weeks which makes me very nervous cuz the baby is not fully mature or 37 would be the latest but I’m very concerned about how things are going to turn out so just keep me and my husband Andrew in your prayers. And thank you for your testimony and your story of what happened to you and your daughter that was very reassuring

Devin
Devin
1 year ago

Thank you thank you thank you xoxoxoxo

Ashley Hedrick
Ashley Hedrick
1 year ago

Thank you for sharing your story. This is my 4th pregnancy and 1st time with preeclampsia! I am late in my pregnancy 35 weeks and 5 days today. I am scared, and I feel so lost and scared for my baby, I so badly wanted to carry my daughter 40 weeks but as of yesterday they are wanting to induce me at 37 weeks now. My other daughter was induced at 39 weeks and she was so small amd we had to stay in the hospital an extra 2 days, and I can’t even imagine having a 37 weeks baby.… Read more »

Emmaus Courtney
Emmaus Courtney
8 months ago

My preeclampsia turned into eclampsia. I had a seizure when I was in labour and my baby and both almost didn’t make it. I had to have an emergency c-section and was put into a coma. 2 days later I woke up in ICU…